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When Covid-19 first appeared and we went into lockdown everything I did work wise disappeared.
Literally, within 2 weeks every booking, every client, every workshop stopped. I was not alone in this, it was an unexpected and huge shift in our reality.
Once the last booking was cancelled panic set in. I had a couple of nights of not sleeping well and spent my days in a mild state of head fog and panic. It is very easy when things do not go as expected or suddenly change to focus on the loss, on the negatives of the situation, and from Wednesday to Friday morning that is exactly what I did. Feeding the ever growing knot in my stomach.
Once the last booking was cancelled panic set in. I had a couple of nights of not sleeping well and spent my days in a mild state of head fog and panic. It is very easy when things do not go as expected or suddenly change to focus on the loss, on the negatives of the situation, and from Wednesday to Friday morning that is exactly what I did. Feeding the ever growing knot in my stomach.
Then Friday morning I remembered my new shoes.
I had bought them because the old pair were worn out, the toes had finally separated from the sole and when I wiggled my toes my foot looked like a badly made puppet.
These shoes were not going to work for me anymore, no matter how much I wore them these shoes were done.
So I had been and bought a new pair of boots. These were new, strong and would work well for me where ever I was walking. They were the boots for the next step of the way.
I looked at my situation. Realising that the thoughts of the last few days were a little like my old boots.
They were not going to get me through the terrain of the next few months (or however long). I needed new ones. So I spent an hour thinking about where I wanted to be once all this covid thing had ended. I started to focus upon the positives, what opportunities were there for me. The possibility of working online, the fact that then opened up the world to me as far as clients go. I realised that some of the top trainers in the world for hypnotherapy/ NLP were shifting their training online which meant it was easier and more practical for me to access.
The fog in my mind cleared, the panic shifted and I could see a way forward. I had gained clarity and a new energy to get things done.
TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS
Depending where you are going sometimes you need the right footwear for the terrain you will be traversing. High heels are not likely to get you up a mountain, and your best posh shoes are probably not best for a muddy field. So change our shoes to meet the journey, and sometimes we need to do the same mentally. Changing your mental shoes is about changing your perspective.
Negative thinking triggers negative feeling. This can lead to self sabotage, believe bad things always happen to you and a part of your mind will seek to re-enforce this reality and be looking out for those situations that will validate that idea.
So how can you shift your mental perspective and change those shoes?
1. Write it down.
Do not type them, write them. The process slows down your thinking, it externalises your thought and gives you space to look and asses the truth behind the thought. You can then also find it easier to see the counter thought that will lead you forward.
2. Talk to someone.
Talking to someone you trust who will listen can really help you explore those feelings and thoughts.
Also feedback from someone you trust can really help shift your perspective. Once you have another perspective you can never completely go back to the old one.
3. Positive Thinking
Fill your mind with positive thoughts. Look at the situation and start to focus on all the good that come out of it. I am not talking about dreaming the impossible. But by focusing realistically on the positive outcomes you can shift your perspective and your feelings.
For me that was realising that the thinking of the past few days was not serving me. But you can change this, they are your thoughts after all. And then looking at what new possibilities were available to me allowed me to shift a self destructive mind set to one that has carried me well through the lock downs of the past 18 months.
So next time your emotions start working against you, remember to put your new shoes on. Stop, take the time to pick the right ones for what lies ahead and then once you have chosen the new ones, try them on for size and step forward confidently.
If you are struggling with negative thinking and feeling and need help choosing those shoes then why not book an initial chat to see how I can help you move forward.